Carry Your Cross

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Calling Young Men: Successful Marriages Begin Before Marriage

Young men: marriage is a calling from God. If your vocation is to have a family, then God is expecting great things from you. Christ would not entrust beloved souls to your care if you didn’t have the potential to get those souls to heaven. If you are moving towards the vocation of marriage, then you must prepare. If you fail to prepare, you prepare to fail. 

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Preparation for marriage doesn’t begin when we say our vows. It starts in our formation as young men. High school and college are critical years of growth. During these stages of life, we have the ability to grow in our masculine virtues or destroy ourselves. 

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At many crucial moments in our youth, our virtue is put to the test. In modern society, men are attacked. They’re encouraged to be effeminate predators. They are challenged with a demonic twist of manhood. Young men are told that indulging in sex, drugs, alcohol, and money makes you masculine. Nothing could be further from the truth. It’s not tough to smoke pot. There’s nothing difficult about sleeping around. Getting trashed isn’t challenging. None of these things contains even a sliver of self-denial. However, denying oneself these pleasures and choosing physical, spiritual, and mental health is extremely challenging. It takes a true man to do good things that hurt. Only a strong man can take the pain of self-denial for the greater good of himself and his future family. We must act decisively and choose our path. We have to let our “’Yes’ mean ‘Yes,’ and [our] ‘No’ mean ‘No’”(Matthew 5:37).

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Every moral decision we make today will have effects on our marriages and family lives tomorrow. This is not to say that we can’t repent, change, and become better men. Of course, transformation is what Christian men are called to do. However, we must be extremely conscious of our actions. The more we fall into sin, the more difficult it is to get out. And unfortunately, many are conquered by their sins because they never surrender their burdens to God. 

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Young men ought to pray about their future wives and children. Young men ought to decide who they want to be, now. Preparation for the marriage vocation begins today.

God bless and #carryyourcross