Boys do what they want to. Men do what they have to.

When does a boy become a man? People have asked this question for a long time. The answers always vary. Some cultures define manhood by age or physical appearance, or by the completion of some sort of rite of passage.

But what about in America? Is manhood defined? Do young boys have a clear vision and understanding of what they’ll someday become? Are they motivated to make sound decisions that will help them become that future version of themselves? Are they striving with effort towards that higher state of self so that one day they’ll be proud of the reflection they see in the mirror? Is someone there to guide, mentor, and lead them on this incredibly difficult and complex path? 

For most boys in America, this is not the case. This is a problem.

A large issue we’ve seen and experienced is the lack of dialog and concentration on this very subject. Manhood. We’re in an age where gender is a sensitive topic. The lines are blurring and the roles are undefined. The expectations and responsibilities are unclear. Boys are being told who and what to be by the wrong crowds with the wrong opinions.

As a result, boys grow up not knowing what it truly means to be a man. They’re confused and misguided, so they strive to emulate the false version that modern society promotes. They associate manhood with sex, money, power, dominance, fame, and alcohol. They’re striving and pressured to reach a state of being which ultimately leaves them broken. And sadly, when they’ve settled down, started a family, and even retired, they’re still just a confused boy in a man’s body.

This needs to change.

Here’s something different.

A boy becomes a man when he completely DIES TO SELF. When he finally opens up his aperture and understands his place and purpose in this world, to serve God and to serve others, he begins the transformation into the man. 

When he gets to know Jesus, and goes to Him for wisdom, guidance, and advice on how he can better serve Him and love others. When he establishes his firm moral code and aligns his thoughts, words, and deeds with that code. When he exercises the attributes of courage, bravery, loyalty, and honor for the betterment of everyone else. When he denies the temptations of this world and the flesh and makes the tough, right decisions. When he humbles himself, and understands and trusts that God is in control. 

These are just a few of the ways in which a boy becomes a man, and this is just the beginning of the discussion that America desperately needs. Carry Your Cross is excited to continue this topic and transformation in the future.